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Monday, February 21, 2011

Trying to find the calm before the storm

I don't have anything relatively new to share about Bailey but we are still struggling through certain goals and overachieving in others. Right now we are just taking life one day at a time and living true to what the doctors have said "we just have to wait and see". Everything seems to be waiting game when it comes to Bailey. Sometimes I think they just tell me that because in all honesty they have NO idea what to think about her. She's complex and her "symptoms" never make sense, simply put she's BAILEY! I'm okay with that but the little nagging unsettling pinch in my stomach every now and then isn't. We are having a rough time right now with behavioral/SI issues and what do you know here comes that little pinch rearing it's ugly head again. Is this deeper than what we all think it is? Who really knows? I've tried to teach myself in the last 2 years to stop thinking so much about what we DON'T know and to put my energy into what we DO know and work with that but sometimes it is just SO much easier said than done. I have truly been beyond emotionally exhausted in the last couple months BUT there WILL be better days and for that I am anxious and greatful!

As Bailey would say: "I love you TOO much"

I am a parent of a child with special needs. From the moment I met you, my sweet one, I knew I was forever changed. No matter how old you get I remember it all just like yesterday. Despite our hurdles and a world that wasn't made for you and me, we will find a way to thrive and overcome anything.

"Fall into me, my arms are open wide and you don't have to say a word cause I already see that it's hard and you're scared and you're tired and it hurts and I wanna be the one you reach for first."